dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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