if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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