I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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