I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
