I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
