And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
