Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
