this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize