I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
