We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
