went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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