I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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