ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
