The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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