More tranny stories later!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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