3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
