If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
