im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
