Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
