hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
