I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
