There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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