I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
