I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
