Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He better not be in your backpack
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize