OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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