no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
