Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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