I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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