You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
