You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
