ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
