That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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