would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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