Well douche your snatch and let's go!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
