Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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