U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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