it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
