As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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