There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
