just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize