maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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