ugly people sure do ruin things
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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