He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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