You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
