this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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