Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
