If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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