I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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