Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
