Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
