I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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