so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize