Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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