Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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