this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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