just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
