It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
