i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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