Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize