census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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