there was a trapeze. enough said
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
