The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
