I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
