he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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