walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
