bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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