I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
