They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
