A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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